The question is, have i changed since i came to Melbourne?
Change in what way?
In lifestyle... definately! Totally embracing the student life for sure.
Spiritually? I think i have my ups and downs but definately making effort to work towards christ. I gotta admit that its so roller coaster i can feel close to god and totally forget god all in a matter of hours. But oh well, that's a journey! Gotta focus on my purpose and calling here =)
Character? For sure! I've grown so much in this area. Totally toughening up for a new season i guess. Mah always tell me when i'm going through a rough patch "it's ok hun, builds character" and i always reply, "what if i don't wanna build character!! urgh!!" hehe.. but it is so true. Situations have provided me a choice to make the most out of it and let no experience go to waste. That's good i guess.
So overall, have i changed? Overall, i'd say... yea! But i'm still the same Per that will always be!
***
Anyways, i also wanna say that I ATTENDED FGA SAT SERVICE YESTERDAY OVER SKYPE AND IT WAS UBER AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee................ I'm thrilled just to attend service and to see everyone again! It was also good to intro mah and show him around church. hehe.. =)))
Also, mother told me she's coming to melb on 13th after my exams... woot!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
=~(
Today I had it bad but i'm glad i had it. This was opportunity to change and to reflect. What's going on Per? Is this the way things should be? No then change it!
Ok, i will from now on.
I was emo again but this time just purely glad that Mah was so understanding and patient with me. In more ways than one, he's actually right about a lot of things... so i've some reflecting to do tonight.
All i wanna say is thanks and thanks for grace, mercy, love, patience, understanding and compassion.
Peace to the world!
Ok, i will from now on.
I was emo again but this time just purely glad that Mah was so understanding and patient with me. In more ways than one, he's actually right about a lot of things... so i've some reflecting to do tonight.
All i wanna say is thanks and thanks for grace, mercy, love, patience, understanding and compassion.
Peace to the world!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Not About To.
I wasn't about to blog today but this TGIF caught my attention and I knew I wanted to record this down. Yesterday i kinda broke down again and being emo about going through hardship. I'm still joyful at this tho and am glad to be exactly in my situation where i'm at now. Thanks to all those that have opened themselves to be used by God to bless me in every possible way. I am really grateful for your kindness! =)
***
Jehovah Jireh
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2 by Os Hillman
Tuesday, October 20 2009
"But I think it is necessary to send back to you Epaphroditus, my brother, fellow worker and fellow soldier, who is also your messenger, whom you sent to take care of my needs" (Phil 2:25-26).
I got onto the bus with the other delegates attending a workplace conference in South Africa. It was a season in my life in which I had experienced many losses both financially and relationally. God was stripping away the old wineskin and creating a new one. One of the things He was teaching me was that He - not my skills, not my work - was my provider of financial needs during this season of training.
God provided me the means to attend the conference. One day before the registration deadline, a man came to my office and gave me $2500 and told me I was to go. Now, a man had just placed an envelope into my hand. "Here, God says I'm to give this to you. Inside are 10 crisp American $100 bills - $1000!" The man was from Kuwait.
Every believer needs to come to know Christ as their provider. Jehovah Jireh means God is my provider. When God called the Israelites from their place of slavery they had to walk through the desert. There is no way to earn a living in the desert. So God provided manna each day for them. Sometimes He even brought water from rocks. They had to experience a new way of gaining provision that was not rooted in sweat and toil. God had to demonstrate His faithfulness as Jehovah Jireh to His people.
There were times when Paul's tent making business was not the way God would provide for him. God often uses others as His instrument of provision. So, God sent Epaphroditus to take care of Paul's needs.
Do you know God as your provider? Do you have a need? Place your need before the Lord today and ask Him to demonstrate His faithfulness as Jehovah Jireh.
***
Jehovah Jireh
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2 by Os Hillman
Tuesday, October 20 2009
"But I think it is necessary to send back to you Epaphroditus, my brother, fellow worker and fellow soldier, who is also your messenger, whom you sent to take care of my needs" (Phil 2:25-26).
I got onto the bus with the other delegates attending a workplace conference in South Africa. It was a season in my life in which I had experienced many losses both financially and relationally. God was stripping away the old wineskin and creating a new one. One of the things He was teaching me was that He - not my skills, not my work - was my provider of financial needs during this season of training.
God provided me the means to attend the conference. One day before the registration deadline, a man came to my office and gave me $2500 and told me I was to go. Now, a man had just placed an envelope into my hand. "Here, God says I'm to give this to you. Inside are 10 crisp American $100 bills - $1000!" The man was from Kuwait.
Every believer needs to come to know Christ as their provider. Jehovah Jireh means God is my provider. When God called the Israelites from their place of slavery they had to walk through the desert. There is no way to earn a living in the desert. So God provided manna each day for them. Sometimes He even brought water from rocks. They had to experience a new way of gaining provision that was not rooted in sweat and toil. God had to demonstrate His faithfulness as Jehovah Jireh to His people.
There were times when Paul's tent making business was not the way God would provide for him. God often uses others as His instrument of provision. So, God sent Epaphroditus to take care of Paul's needs.
Do you know God as your provider? Do you have a need? Place your need before the Lord today and ask Him to demonstrate His faithfulness as Jehovah Jireh.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Life is Lived Fwd but Understood Backwards.
Seeing Backward
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2 by Os Hillman
Monday, October 19 2009
"O LORD, when you favored me, you made my mountain stand firm; but when you hid your face, I was dismayed" (Ps 30:7).
It is often difficult to recognize the hand of God when we are in the midst of adversity. We often feel God has hidden His face from us. When the Lord takes us through deep valleys, there will be fruit from the deep valley that we cannot see. You must press into Him with all you have during this time.
God uses the deep valley to frame our lives to create a change in our nature, not just a change in habits. The depth and width of our valley is often an indicator of the level of calling and influence we will have on others in the future. Our adversity is not just for us, but others who will be in our future path of influence. This is not very comforting when you are in the middle of the valley, but know this is a truth in the Kingdom.
It is often years later when we discover the wisdom of God and why He intentionally led us through the dark valley. Life is often lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back at through valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale and the spiritual deposits He has made in our life while we were there. "He reveals the deep things of darkness and brings deep shadows into the light" (Job 12:22). When you begin to realize this, you sit back and breathe a sigh of relief because you know that God was in control all along. It didn't seem like it at the time, but He was.
Do you find yourself in the valley? Now is the time to fully trust Him to guide you to higher ground.
***
This note comforted me and is a witness of what is happening in the spirit. He will provide just enough for the time and I have to go through this and understand how this feels. Somehow, it is liberating to know that God's hand is in this and I can testify to His goodness and providence. Today, I was offered another job that paid something like $16/hour on weekdays, $23 on sat and $27 on sun. He knows what I need and it is just enough for next year. Every time i calculate what i need, it is always just enough till the next burst of his blessing come again.
Strange but I am comforted and spurred on to take this challenge head on. It is a privilege to be in such a position because it is a mountain He thinks i can conquer and no doubt, victory is to be received!
Thanks for being there.
Another bout of emotion catching up today. Blame it on impending period. Haha! =)
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2 by Os Hillman
Monday, October 19 2009
"O LORD, when you favored me, you made my mountain stand firm; but when you hid your face, I was dismayed" (Ps 30:7).
It is often difficult to recognize the hand of God when we are in the midst of adversity. We often feel God has hidden His face from us. When the Lord takes us through deep valleys, there will be fruit from the deep valley that we cannot see. You must press into Him with all you have during this time.
God uses the deep valley to frame our lives to create a change in our nature, not just a change in habits. The depth and width of our valley is often an indicator of the level of calling and influence we will have on others in the future. Our adversity is not just for us, but others who will be in our future path of influence. This is not very comforting when you are in the middle of the valley, but know this is a truth in the Kingdom.
It is often years later when we discover the wisdom of God and why He intentionally led us through the dark valley. Life is often lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back at through valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale and the spiritual deposits He has made in our life while we were there. "He reveals the deep things of darkness and brings deep shadows into the light" (Job 12:22). When you begin to realize this, you sit back and breathe a sigh of relief because you know that God was in control all along. It didn't seem like it at the time, but He was.
Do you find yourself in the valley? Now is the time to fully trust Him to guide you to higher ground.
***
This note comforted me and is a witness of what is happening in the spirit. He will provide just enough for the time and I have to go through this and understand how this feels. Somehow, it is liberating to know that God's hand is in this and I can testify to His goodness and providence. Today, I was offered another job that paid something like $16/hour on weekdays, $23 on sat and $27 on sun. He knows what I need and it is just enough for next year. Every time i calculate what i need, it is always just enough till the next burst of his blessing come again.
Strange but I am comforted and spurred on to take this challenge head on. It is a privilege to be in such a position because it is a mountain He thinks i can conquer and no doubt, victory is to be received!
Thanks for being there.
Another bout of emotion catching up today. Blame it on impending period. Haha! =)
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Goodest Girl!
Today i went to school by 8am cos my internet bandwidth was over the limit last night and my internet was taking 1 hour to load a page. I've to finish up an assignment before my first class at 9am. I did it on time and went for tut. Then, i handed in my assignment and skipped the 3 hour tut. That one nothing one.. trust me.
So i headed home to do my second assignment due this friday and I finished it!!!!!!! Who does that? Finish an assignment a day early! Woo!!! I'm on top of the world!!!!!!!! Also, I topped my score at bejewelled at 285K!! WOOO!!!!
The sad but not so sad thing is, i've received my first D for my IB assignment. So far for this sem, i haven't gotten any Ds. It is sad becos..... I've been getting ALL HDs!!!!!!!!!!!! Muahahahahaahahahahhaha!!!
I better don't haolian too soon. Exams coming.. better don't jinx it. I'll be so upset. Planning to study again later! Woot!! Goodest girl in the world today!!! =)))
So i headed home to do my second assignment due this friday and I finished it!!!!!!! Who does that? Finish an assignment a day early! Woo!!! I'm on top of the world!!!!!!!! Also, I topped my score at bejewelled at 285K!! WOOO!!!!
The sad but not so sad thing is, i've received my first D for my IB assignment. So far for this sem, i haven't gotten any Ds. It is sad becos..... I've been getting ALL HDs!!!!!!!!!!!! Muahahahahaahahahahhaha!!!
I better don't haolian too soon. Exams coming.. better don't jinx it. I'll be so upset. Planning to study again later! Woot!! Goodest girl in the world today!!! =)))
Monday, October 12, 2009
Anaroxic Wallet.
I want to complain!!!!!!!!!
Last thurs i locked myself out of my house then i had to spend $35 on cab to go to my landlord's house to collect keys! Then at night when i went hosue churhc, i bought the wrong train ticket sooooooo i wasted another $30 on that!
Then on fri i waited for the bus nearly 1 hour and no bus came... so had to spend $12 for cab to an interview! Then at night we were supposed to spend like $2 max on cab to this place which we couldnt find, i ended up paying $20!!!!
Then on Sun when i wanted to go work, i waited for bus from 12.15 to 12.50 and no bus came!! So i took cab again and uncle didn't even turn on the meter! In the end, i don't care i just paid him $8.
In total, damage on transport was $105 and i have to buy new train card for $30!!! No money already how to buy??? You know what is no money? It is an understatement!
And, i'm not scheduled to work cos of exams and new roster was out before i even know it! Urgh!!! I stay at home eat pi sai already man!
Ok. I'm done ranting. Have a good life everyone!
Last thurs i locked myself out of my house then i had to spend $35 on cab to go to my landlord's house to collect keys! Then at night when i went hosue churhc, i bought the wrong train ticket sooooooo i wasted another $30 on that!
Then on fri i waited for the bus nearly 1 hour and no bus came... so had to spend $12 for cab to an interview! Then at night we were supposed to spend like $2 max on cab to this place which we couldnt find, i ended up paying $20!!!!
Then on Sun when i wanted to go work, i waited for bus from 12.15 to 12.50 and no bus came!! So i took cab again and uncle didn't even turn on the meter! In the end, i don't care i just paid him $8.
In total, damage on transport was $105 and i have to buy new train card for $30!!! No money already how to buy??? You know what is no money? It is an understatement!
And, i'm not scheduled to work cos of exams and new roster was out before i even know it! Urgh!!! I stay at home eat pi sai already man!
Ok. I'm done ranting. Have a good life everyone!
Monday, October 5, 2009
1/2 a year.
It's been 6 months already. So fast!
Ok, i'm late blogging. 6th month was on Sat. We had a good good dinner at Koko's, Crown. Food was super awesome, super liked the wagyu beef with egg and tofu with crab meat. I think more than just the food, we had a good time just talking abt us and about our relationship.
I think one thing i really like about us is that we view relationships so similarly! It's incredible like how we are so aligned in this area... even Huis was like how to find man - referring to both of us la! Like we don't have to always meet, we're both independent and have mutual respect for each other's personal time, time with friends and time with each other. I also like how we encouragae each other to grow and spur each other to good things in life. At the same time, there's this sense of selflessness where we regard each other above self interest. Total mutual trust and security is also foundation so us like how we don't limit each other and don't get jealous and stuff... i guess also cos cheating is out of the question even. Like so many things we talked about on Sat was just aligned with my own thinking and mindset. I just find it really amazing cos a lot of the things are what i want.
Funny how i was writing about my future guy just this 14 feb. I was telling God what i wanted in a guy and stuff. I think all the main things i wanted was checked off except the part where he loves God bit. God, hurry alr... =) I'm a bit paiseh to say but i was like telling God that how Carissa met her bf was really cool and stuff like to meet someone just like that and hit it off to something so cool. Then on hindsight, it seems like we also just happened! Anyways, i really wasn't expecting to meet anyone nor was i interested in a r/s. Was totally the last thing on my mind... but i'm glad i gave Andrew a shot. And i just realised... the funniest thing is that his Bday is exactly on 14 feb. haha! Wonder what he was doing while i was writing about my future bf. Haha!
Anyways, maybe we are both sensible and maybe stable enough so everything seems like its working out. I'm happy tho... and we haven't partied together in a looong time! This sat... i can't wait! =) But the other thing is that we haven't worked out what to do after i grad. So sad... i guess eventually we gotta come to terms with it. See how la! hopefully another option will open up...
Oh man, now i've major assignment to complete by tomorrow. Was supposed to meet up but i've no time. Can't wait to see what reward he got for me tom... hehe! =) Super can't wait to finish this assignment!!!!!!!! It's driving me nuts... my whole body's twitching again =(
Ok, i'm late blogging. 6th month was on Sat. We had a good good dinner at Koko's, Crown. Food was super awesome, super liked the wagyu beef with egg and tofu with crab meat. I think more than just the food, we had a good time just talking abt us and about our relationship.
I think one thing i really like about us is that we view relationships so similarly! It's incredible like how we are so aligned in this area... even Huis was like how to find man - referring to both of us la! Like we don't have to always meet, we're both independent and have mutual respect for each other's personal time, time with friends and time with each other. I also like how we encouragae each other to grow and spur each other to good things in life. At the same time, there's this sense of selflessness where we regard each other above self interest. Total mutual trust and security is also foundation so us like how we don't limit each other and don't get jealous and stuff... i guess also cos cheating is out of the question even. Like so many things we talked about on Sat was just aligned with my own thinking and mindset. I just find it really amazing cos a lot of the things are what i want.
Funny how i was writing about my future guy just this 14 feb. I was telling God what i wanted in a guy and stuff. I think all the main things i wanted was checked off except the part where he loves God bit. God, hurry alr... =) I'm a bit paiseh to say but i was like telling God that how Carissa met her bf was really cool and stuff like to meet someone just like that and hit it off to something so cool. Then on hindsight, it seems like we also just happened! Anyways, i really wasn't expecting to meet anyone nor was i interested in a r/s. Was totally the last thing on my mind... but i'm glad i gave Andrew a shot. And i just realised... the funniest thing is that his Bday is exactly on 14 feb. haha! Wonder what he was doing while i was writing about my future bf. Haha!
Anyways, maybe we are both sensible and maybe stable enough so everything seems like its working out. I'm happy tho... and we haven't partied together in a looong time! This sat... i can't wait! =) But the other thing is that we haven't worked out what to do after i grad. So sad... i guess eventually we gotta come to terms with it. See how la! hopefully another option will open up...
Oh man, now i've major assignment to complete by tomorrow. Was supposed to meet up but i've no time. Can't wait to see what reward he got for me tom... hehe! =) Super can't wait to finish this assignment!!!!!!!! It's driving me nuts... my whole body's twitching again =(
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Disappointments.
Revitalise the relationship and not focus on the past.
"Peace be with you," Jesus said to the disciples who fled after the crucifixion. Grace and affirmation was used in the presence of failure and disappointment. Restart and reaffirm for a new vision forward!
***
I just realised that God said He will never leave me nor forsake me. I remember always praying and asking God to never let me go even if i have forgotten His goodness. He did promise that He will never leave me nor forsake me. How comforting! On hindsight, He has been there Always, whether i am conscious of it or not.
Thanks God! =)
"Peace be with you," Jesus said to the disciples who fled after the crucifixion. Grace and affirmation was used in the presence of failure and disappointment. Restart and reaffirm for a new vision forward!
***
I just realised that God said He will never leave me nor forsake me. I remember always praying and asking God to never let me go even if i have forgotten His goodness. He did promise that He will never leave me nor forsake me. How comforting! On hindsight, He has been there Always, whether i am conscious of it or not.
Thanks God! =)
Friday, October 2, 2009
TGIF - Deliverance from the Black Hole
Deliverance from the Black Hole
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2 by Os Hillman
Wednesday, September 30 2009
"As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Joshua 1:5b).
A black hole is a place of total nothingness. It's a time in our life when God removes the resources and supports that we normally rely on to feel secure - our careers, finances, friends, family, health and so forth. It is a preparation time.
When you find yourself in a black hole experience, don't just sit and brood. Take stock of your life. Take a look at your relationship with God.
First, ask God if there are any sins, habits, or attitudes that He might be judging in your life. It's important to discern whether the trial we face is the result of God's discipline for our sin?or if it is preparing us for a future leadership role.
Second, when you enter a black hole, don't trust your feelings. Trust God. Your feelings will tell you, "God has rejected you. Abandon hope. He has left you utterly alone." Feelings change; God never changes. Feelings come and go; God is always with us.
Third, remember that your black hole experience is not only intended to refine and define you; it's also intended to influence and change the lives of hundreds or even thousands of other people. Our adversity is not just for us, but others in our sphere of influence.
Fourth, don't try to hurry the black hole process along. Remember, when Joseph was in the depths of the pit, there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn't climb out, jump out, levitate out, or talk his way out. All he could do was pray and wait upon the Lord.
Fifth, lean on God. Even when you don't feel like praying, pray. Even when you don't feel like reading His Word, read. Even when you don't feel like singing songs of faith, sing. When you pray, don't just talk; listen. Be silent before Him and listen for His still, quiet voice.
Sixth, be alert to new truths and new perspectives. During a black hole experience, God often leads us to amazing new discoveries. A black hole can be a storehouse of unexpected riches for the soul.
***
I was talking to homer and viv last night abt my decision on which job i should take.
I told God i'd take the first job that comes and that the first offer is from him - that's FA. Then comes several others like GJ which is nearer to my house, can help me save on transport cost, which i like better, boss is nicer, environment is much better, less work and all that. Do i defy wisdom or go with faith? That's the question. TGIF today confirmed what's in my heart the choices God has put out. Perfect will or permissable will? God chosen faith or human wisdom? His choices always doesn't make sense but it is always for good and he knows how to reward me.
I choose God's whacky ideas for me. And faith it will be all the way.
Jia you Per!
For now, gotta finish assignment! Think i gotta miss another weekend of party =(
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2 by Os Hillman
Wednesday, September 30 2009
"As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Joshua 1:5b).
A black hole is a place of total nothingness. It's a time in our life when God removes the resources and supports that we normally rely on to feel secure - our careers, finances, friends, family, health and so forth. It is a preparation time.
When you find yourself in a black hole experience, don't just sit and brood. Take stock of your life. Take a look at your relationship with God.
First, ask God if there are any sins, habits, or attitudes that He might be judging in your life. It's important to discern whether the trial we face is the result of God's discipline for our sin?or if it is preparing us for a future leadership role.
Second, when you enter a black hole, don't trust your feelings. Trust God. Your feelings will tell you, "God has rejected you. Abandon hope. He has left you utterly alone." Feelings change; God never changes. Feelings come and go; God is always with us.
Third, remember that your black hole experience is not only intended to refine and define you; it's also intended to influence and change the lives of hundreds or even thousands of other people. Our adversity is not just for us, but others in our sphere of influence.
Fourth, don't try to hurry the black hole process along. Remember, when Joseph was in the depths of the pit, there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn't climb out, jump out, levitate out, or talk his way out. All he could do was pray and wait upon the Lord.
Fifth, lean on God. Even when you don't feel like praying, pray. Even when you don't feel like reading His Word, read. Even when you don't feel like singing songs of faith, sing. When you pray, don't just talk; listen. Be silent before Him and listen for His still, quiet voice.
Sixth, be alert to new truths and new perspectives. During a black hole experience, God often leads us to amazing new discoveries. A black hole can be a storehouse of unexpected riches for the soul.
***
I was talking to homer and viv last night abt my decision on which job i should take.
I told God i'd take the first job that comes and that the first offer is from him - that's FA. Then comes several others like GJ which is nearer to my house, can help me save on transport cost, which i like better, boss is nicer, environment is much better, less work and all that. Do i defy wisdom or go with faith? That's the question. TGIF today confirmed what's in my heart the choices God has put out. Perfect will or permissable will? God chosen faith or human wisdom? His choices always doesn't make sense but it is always for good and he knows how to reward me.
I choose God's whacky ideas for me. And faith it will be all the way.
Jia you Per!
For now, gotta finish assignment! Think i gotta miss another weekend of party =(
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